6 years Fast Forward

 Assalamualaikum and Good Day Fellow Readers,

I do not know whether you're still keen to blogging anymore. Believe me, I was strayed from blogging for along time. though I do love the passion and love being put into my blogs. Well I'm entered my 30's so some say it's when the beginning started. Well I pray for the best.

So my last blog was on 2016. Now it is 2022, so 6 years had past without any entry or insight from my side of story. there are so many thing happen during the span of 6 years sad and happy memories, mistakes that make me wise to face the future.

Being happily married for 5 years now with my University sweet heart. Marry her was one of my biggest rights in my life. though I kid you not into her at first. but as the conversation and relationship moves, there's a bond that is much more than friendship; love. She taught me how to behave and become a better man. Both spiritual and appearance. I learnt how to lower my ego and it is better to lose rather than to lose her. Moment without her being happy was not a good one. But we do manage to reconcile and move forward.

I'm with 3 children. My two beautiful first born twins and a little angel with big eyes. I love them very much is a cliche statement. So I'm gonna quote from Barney

"You are the love of my life, Everything I have and everything I am is yours." 

The love for your children is indescribable. But once you felt it, it is a mix of endless love for your child and realization how your parents love you. It like no matter what you do, i'm gonna love you. The struggle with the twins were hard, both financially and mental. One cry, another will join crying. One sleeps another crying, then they rotate. They endless sleepless night had help me to appreciate a simple siesta during the day. The twins now a proud sister of the new child. Where they love to play and took care of her. My forever angel do not grow fast my dear.

Though I had been married for 5 years, i had not move out from my mom house yet. Still living with safety net. Hopefully will venture through safety net less life in few months. I bought a flat after being married. A simple flat for my family. Seeking to create a memories for the years to come.

All in all. The hardship in life had brought me here to this day, this moment. To ensure you, my dear readers. It is fine to be slow in life as long as you move forward. Never afraid to make mistakes. Though I do still have more to learn but i do feel much wiser 6 years ago. Love you all.

The 

Me Crush Coming Again

to-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury
Signifying nothing.

Yesterday I dreamt of her. SHe who had been long gone in my life. But the effect of it was, memories of her crept into me. she was my best friend, my laugh buddy, the only girl who contact me from primary school. Yesterday I dreamt about you. You who encounter an immature Mukris. The one who moves to fast. The one who put entire song lyrics into card. The one who eager wants you to be his girl friend. Why do we lost contact? My embarrasment for sure. I lost counts on how many times did I made a fool out of myself. Foolish me, Young and Bold.....

But the thing is... Experiences teach me alot. They teach me, guide me for the following relationship. Well now I'm happy with mine. My only heart and love. Giteww ayat mat Salleh Jiwang. 

Love u all.

Sad Revelation

It was the final day at Teratai. Man I can't sleep maybe because it's gonna be a good day tomorrow or a sign to another revelation? A new revelation to be known. So i took a few puff then I saw room across is open and lighted. So i go ahead as it was my friend's room and as i went, i saw and i just passed the room with despair,sadness and fail. I saw u with another guy.

there's a time where we all at his house and his said he has a date. With someone he won't tell us. Even i keep on digging, still no answer. no wonder he won't tell me. No wonder you sat besides him during the trip to Dungun. At first it was a joke, but unfortunately it turns to be a reality. I checked your phone while you  bathed. My fault. But dude don't judge me. I don't mean to interfere with people's life. I treat him like my besties I would like to know who you havin relation with? Fiera. That's the name of the girl who i thought before. Maybe it was ur pal durin the high school year, well how should i know more. 

When i know your status, i didn't told any of our frens. I told my fren. How to consult with u? How to deal wit U? Not until the girls started to talk about u. I was like 

"Man, this is out of control! How the hell they know about it?"

I asked u. I told u. That i Knew bout u and him. But still u deny. Deny like it never happen. Well i can't force to tell me, if u won't. Since I'm not your besties. Speaking of besties, i dun really want one now. But then, the day after you crawled back to me when a girl confessed to you and told u to share with me. I dunno whether it is your doing or u done it for the sake of her. We have a good talk . but man dun go to the butt side. It ain't manly. But i kept your words on changing unfortunately i have not seen it.

I'm done with you. Come on. You have to realize. What will be the future between you two? Do you really want to be in a homo relation for the rest of your life? Man think! This is not me giving up. this is me expressing my despair of not talkin u out again. How embarrass for me to think of your priority but u simply avoiding it. Love man as your buddyfamily but not nearly as lovers.

how are you peeps. love u all 

Terukir dlam Laut

Man o man o man.....

It's been ages since i've post any updates or blog. Miss the old days. Yeah it is coming to end. No more blogging for fun. Then era of blog dawn has come, but i love blog. My heart fall that time but i done with her. I have enough time fooling around with you and now i'm no longer going to try to fall for you. Courtesy from Barney Stinson. Malu kowt ajak tgk movie then krik krik. x krik krik pon ad hal katenye. Malu gue. Then after that incident krik krik sgt. Dah r dlm library, krik power of 2, then i x phm ratio dlm accounting. Die krik akoo krik krik. enough of krik krik for now. Gotta let the feeling go. x bagus n x beretika. gitew ko. Mengarot ka? Ad org bc enggak? to my readers, do drop by comment if ok. Saje ja mahu tgk siapa yg bc lg. Mate gue udah terok. leyh jd Cyclops mcm x-men. Drive malam x nmpk jalan. Tgk movie dlm laptop wassalamu sakit mata tros tidoq. Bercelaru blog gue. Sok i organized k.

i think i lovestoned

found this article from a random site.. am i lovestoned again??

Lelaki sememangnya sukar diramal. Tidak semua gerak gerinya dapat di baca. Namun, satu pekara yang sememangnya mereka tidak boleh sorokkan iaitu 10 tanda bila si dia mula angau dengan mu. Jom ketahui bagaimana rahsianya mula terbongkar.

1)      MULA BERI BERIBU PERHATIAN

Jika sikapnya yang dahulu acuh tak acuh sudah tidak kelihatan, dan si dia mula memberimu beribu perhatian itu tandanya si dia mula mengambil berat tentang mu.

2)      INGAT SEGALA PEKARA TENTANG MU

Wah nampaknya si dia memang serius dengan setiap perbualan kamu. Segala tentang kamu walaupun sekecil semut sekalipun si dia masih ingat dan tidak lupa, itu bermakna si dia memang peka dengan apa sahaja yang sedang dibualkan oleh kamu berdua.

3)      TIDAK AKAN MENYUSAHKAN KAMU

Si dia akan cuba sedaya upaya untuk tidak menyusahkan kamu. Jadi jika kamu dalam kesusahan jangan panik, si dia pasti akan menolongmu.

4)      TIDAK MUDAH MENABUR JANJI

Lelaki yang benar-benar mencintai kamu tidak akan sewenang-wenangnya menabur janji pada kamu. Ini kerana, mereka takut untuk memungkiri janji dan melukakan hati kamu

5)      MENCINTAI SEGALA KELEMAHAN MU

Bila si lelaki mula mencintai setiap kelemahan kamu itu bermakna si dia betul-betul menerima kelebihan dan kelemahan kamu. Inilah masanya untuk kamu berterima kasih padanya kerana si dia sanggup menerima segala kelemahanmu. 

6)      BERI LAYANAN ISTIMEWA

Lelaki ni selalunya, bila dia menganggap seseorang itu hanya sebagai kawan dia akan bersikap 'natural' sahaja. tetapi, bila dia dah mula meletakkan kamu di kedudukan yang istimewa, tentunya kamu akan di layan dengan sehabis baik!

7)      KAMU LAH SATU-SATUNYA DI FIKIRANNYA

Jejaka yang benar-benar mencintai kamu tidak akan sesekali cuba mendekati wanita lain. Si dia akan mula berkelakuan seperti kamu sahaja wanita yang ada dalam fikirannya. Besar kemungkinan takut-takut kamu pula yang akan rasa seperti dikong-kong dan rimas.

8)      SENTIASA MENCURI MASA UNTUK BERJUMPA

Ada sahaja alasannya untuk berjumpa dengan mu. Bila si dia mula cuba mencuri masa untuk bersama kamu itu bermakna si dia benar-benar mahu menghabiskan waktu hanya bersama kamu.

9)      SUKAR MEMBERI ALASAN MENGAPA DIA MENCINTAIMU

Bila si jejaka sukar untuk menerangkan mengapa dia mencintaimu itu bermakna si dia benar-benar sudah jatuh hati dengan mu! 

10)   BERSEDIA UNTUK BERJUMPA DENGAN ORANG TUA MU

Bukan mudah untuk si dia berani berhadapan dengan orang tua mu. Jika si dia mula menunjukan respon dan gerak geri yang positif ketika ingin berjumpa dengan keluarga mu itu bermakna si dia sudah bersedia untuk ke peringkat seterusnya.

wave of misses

i have tons of works to do now. but i just have to post this song as it is what i feel now.

Tuhan tolong lembutkan hati dia

Untuk terima ku seadanya

Kerna ku tak sanggup

Kerna ku tak mampu

Hidup tanpa dia di sisiku

Tuhan aku tahu banyak dosaku

Hanya ingat Kamu kala dukaku

Namun hanya Kamu yang mampu membuka

Pintu hatinya ‘tuk cintaku

Malam kau bawalah rinduku

Untuk dirinya yang jauh dariku

Agar dia tidak kesepian

Selalu rasa ada cinta agung

Hujan bawa air mataku

Yang mengalir membasuh lukaku

Agar dia tahu ku tersiksa

Tanpa cinta dia di hatiku

Hanya mampu berserah

Moga cahaya tiba nanti

Tuhan tolong lembutkan hati dia

Untuk terimaku seadanya

Kerna ku tak sanggup

Kerna ku tak mampu

Hidup tanpa dia di sisiku

metaphor

a metaphor is a tool used by writers to visualize the sentences or the things that they want to express. either a sea of fire or dragon. this week, i stumble on a road, and when i rise i see a junction. a path to continue my happiness another to a beginning of a undefined happiness. i stunted for a moment.which path should i choose. the happiness or the undefined? i ask people around. which one should i choose? one say think very thoroughly. you have a home now and you're headed to one now. do you really want to risk that house for an undefined house? you now are tend to the undefined because you always think of it rather than the happiness you have felt. you have a home, and you have to close your heart to another land. then i ask another walker, he answered know your limit. if you can confine yourself then it is ok. if you know you will fond of undefined place if you visit it, then it would not be a good plan.  i realize something today. when you are in a predicament, never be alone, instead talk to your friend, ask the Al-mighty Allah for Allah guide. when no one else to turn to, there are always Allah and your family. N by family, it doesn't restrict to your bloodline. a friend who r close could be your family. the thing is, i already promise the undefined land for a visit. maybe i ask a friend to tag along so it would not be superly awkward. how relieved i felt after sharing with my friend. yesterday a friend told me a casual answer. it do helpful, if i want to start the other path. but today a friend has clear my mind, to actually think wisely. do the right thing rather than do thing right. for that i forever thank Mir Mir. and that wrap up for this blog. a metaphor a disguise use to express the hollow in heart eventually it is just been away for a while, and i believe it will come back to it place

Many nights we pray

With no proof anyone could hear

And our hearts a hopeful song

We barely understand

Now we are not afraid

Although we know there? s much to fear

We were moving mountains long

Before we know we could

Oh yes, there can be miracles

When you believe

Though hope is frail

It's hard to kill

Who knows what miracle

You can achieve

When you believe

Somehow you will

You will when you believe

In this time of fear

When prayer so often proves in vain

Hope seems like the summer birds

Too swiftly flown away

And now I am standing here

My heart's so full, I can? t explain

Seeking faith and speaking words

I never thought I'd say

There can be miracles

When you believe

Though hope is frail

It's hard to kill

Who knows what miracles

You can achieve

When you believe

Somehow you will

You will when you believe

They don't always happen when you ask

And it's easy to give in to your fear, ohh

But when you? re blinded by your pain

Can't see your way safe through the rain

Thought of a still resilient voice

Says love is very near

There can be miracles

When you believe

Though hope is frail

It's hard to kill

Who knows what miracles

You can achieve

When you believe

Somehow you will, how you will

You will when you believe

You will when you believe