anecdote

I'm in a bad situation at the bad tyme. i dun want love bug at the end of semester. it surely affect my exam. i talk to a friend of mine. He do realise I'm attract to her as I always talk about her. talking about the day she ask whether it is fat or muscle on my chest? my sexual orientation? quite funny. i'm blogging again with my heart guide the keyboard typing. but it not ethically rite. i hate love bug. i text her , but was left out on the final text. Am i the only one who feel? Should i know what her feelings?  i'm in a mess, mess than before. yesterday, i couldn't take my eyes from the phone. A friend told me, it is because you are waiting for the wrong person to text you. gosh how pathetic, i feel myself now. i couldn't bear another bug, it is depressing and despair. to think again, it is all started when a friend, a good friend of mine, left me out into isolation for no reason. a man with a buttocks plan in his mind. I dunno, n all the fingers are point to me, to resolve his confusion. just clear it out for a bit. last two days, i dreamt of her. She, who i should not have dreamt. is it because i think of her so badly? what if i'm the only one who feel? such a pathetic person i feel now. n here i am babbling on the blog and hoping for the moon to land on my lap. i have a hole inside. a hole which use to be a wonderful and loving place. a hole that enable me to blog with my heart. i feel like a loss of my self being. i'm so sad rite now. bestfriend position for hire anyone? the position is open.